So I go to the drive-thru Starbucks down the street and after sitting through two attempts to up-sell me to some 'pairing' or 'baked goodie', the guy hands me a tall nonfat latte with no sleeve. I ask him point-blank, 'Do you guys not give sleeves anymore?' He says, 'We only give them with venti's, we're trying to save trees.' Some questions...
1) Why are you lying? If you're trying to save trees, why give out sleeves at all? What is the qualitative heat difference between a venti and a tall? Answer, none, they are equally as hot.
2) Hey liar, fuck the trees, how about saving my hand?
3) Also, liar, if Starbucks wants to save trees, how about making the sleeves (and the cups, for that matter) from 100% 'post-consumer recycled material', vs. 10% for the cups only?
4) Oh, and liar? Try the truth, it can be an aphrodisiac in all kinds of relationships: business-to-consumer, husband-to-wife, etc. Here it is: consumer spending is down, sleeves cost money, some brain trust at Starbucks corporate (aka The Death Star) ran some models in Excel and determined the cost-benefit ratio of providing sleeves with drinks smaller than a venti was not in the bests interests of the corporation.
In his defense, Starbucks is training a whole generation of liars, it's apparently the 'Starbucks way'. My wife said she refuses to put her hand out the window until a sleeve has been added to her drink. I've tried nonverbal communication but it's not in my nature. And that's the truth.
