Hilarious 'Farticles'

Monday, December 20, 2010

Top 10 Crappy Movies I Will Watch Whenever They Are On

  1. Deep Blue Sea - Samuel Jackson minus his head equals movie magic!
  2. The Mummy - and really, any movie with the word 'mummy' in the title 
  3. Basic Instinct - lesbian hit and runs, a totally gratuitous beaver shot, Michael Douglas losing his shit in just about every scene, this movie has it all
  4. Tommy Boy - join me in a head bob to 'Fat Guy in a Little Coat'
  5. Vanilla Sky - the original version of this movie, 'Abre Los Ojos', belongs on an entirely different list
  6. Universal Soldier: The Return - the first of three increasingly crappy sequels
  7. Hannibal - Julianne Moore does the worst Jodi Foster impression ever, and killer pigs...really?
  8. Wall Street - no matter what the revisionists say, this is not a good movie
  9. Showgirls - hahahahahahahahahaha!
  10. And the newest addition: The Box - so god-awful that it almost eclipses the craptacular craptitude of all the other movies on this list combined

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